My Journey: 2020 Edition
2020 has meant a lot of things to different people. We’ve had our share of mourning and grief that could last a lifetime. Every person has a story to tell, or forget, when it comes down to how the past year has panned out for everyone across the globe. My life was a regular one, I guess. At the beginning of the year, I had a job that was helping me find what and who I was in this professional world. Then I turned 25 and shit got even more real around me.
The mirage of having a 9–5 job with a stable salary in hand was not my calling, and a wedding/school reunion over the weekend helped me see things in a better light. After deliberating a few weeks, I put in my notice period and was relieved by February. It was a hard decision, but it was like a premonition of what was to come in the form of COVID Pandemic and it was one of the better choices I made last year.
Then COVID-19 hit us all in March 2020, everyone was reading, catching up on the news, but no one was really ready for what was to come. The working life had suddenly come to a standstill. Even though I didn’t have a job at that point of time, it had started affecting me, to the point that I couldn’t recognize the person I had become over the period of 3 months.
In the beginning, quality home time consisted of trying out new and old recipes with multiple cuisines with Mom and my cousin, the four of us watching the reruns of B.R. Chopra’s Mahabharat , playing cards while listening to old classics with the whole family and binge watching Netflix and Amazon Prime Video.
Almost 3 months into this pandemic, sleeplessness, erratic mood swings, shutting off myself completely, arguments with my parents had been disrupting my mind and peace. It was a cycle that I wasn’t able to break through, how much I tried telling myself. I immersed myself in art and crafts, renewed my painting hobbies and attended a few online workshops and classes, but it became clear that it was a mere distraction, not a solution. So, I decided to seek help from a Counselling Psychologist, and believe me when I say this, it was not at all an easy decision to seek help. It took me almost a month to take this path, with the help and support of my loved ones. It would take me another whole post to talk about my journey of healing, which is still an ongoing process.
This led to changed perspective, open communications, healthy relationships with loved ones and overall happy, sad and bittersweet moments in my life. It is an ongoing process, a beginning to become the better version of myself.
While respecting the norms of social distancing, we got to enjoy the moments that defined 2020. It ended on a high note with my cousin getting married, surrounded by family, where everyone welcomed the new year together with new hopes, dreams and promise.
Even though 2020 did not turn out to be what I expected, it taught me more than I anticipated .I know it might look relatively normal compared to others, I did learn that we cannot compare one’s successes and failures, because everyone has their own stories, scars, struggles and journeys.